Mia Renee Lee: A Love Story Part 2

In 2011 Sam and I shared with you all the great love story God designed for our sweet Nella.  As 2013 closes and we welcome the new year, we also welcome a beautiful change in our family structure.  Three weeks ago, Sam and I sat in the waiting room of St. Mary’s hospital.  The waiting room was filled with family, but the thing is, most of the the family we waited with we had just met or were meeting for the first time.  And now, those same family members will be forever tied to Team Tilford.  Our lives forever grafted by one sweet child:  Mia Renee Lee Tilford

Hello world, I’m here.

Wednesday, Dec. 11, Sam and I arrived at the hospital around 6am.  We met K and her stepmom at the hospital entrance, and walked to registration where K’s mom, brothers and good family friends waited in anticipation of a new life.  K invited us to spend the pre-surgery time with her, and early in the morning we watched one beautiful somersault from a baby unborn.  My good friend Kristel was the nurse on duty – loving K each step of the way.  We filled out Mia’s birth certificate together and spent the last hour before Mia’s birth loving on her birth mom.  At about 7:30 it was time for us to head to the waiting room, and time for K to meet sweet Mia.

At 10:30, K invited us to meet our daughter.  We entered the room cautiously, uncertain still of what our roles would be.  K’s confidence in her decision, her gift of love to Mia was evident, as she gently placed the newly born infant into my arms.  Little Mia opened her eyes for just a moment, my heart melted.   Sam took a turn then, loving his new daughter, thankful for the gift of inclusion at such an important time in this child’s life.  We then watched as her birth family members each took turns meeting sweet Mia, loving her, gazing at her sweet face.  It’s an amazing feeling to watch so many people who hours before we barely knew, walk into a room and love our daughter so deeply.

Mommy and Mia.

Daddy cuddles

Later in the day, Nella arrived at the hospital to meet her new little sister.  Sam had sent a picture to Dionne’s not long after we met Mia, and we heard that all Nella wanted to do was look at the picture.  Nella arrived excited, anticipating the new buddy she would get to love.  Like any two year old, the initial moments were beautiful and then quickly faded to find interest in other things – like long hallways open for the running.

GG saying hello

Sister kisses

Sam and I knew that K’s decision to place or to parent would have to be remade once she met the sweet child she’d been carrying for the last nine months.  For four days, Sam, K and I spent time building a relationship with one another and loving Mia in the hospital.   Each day brought with it new emotions.  I have never experienced anything so beautiful and so difficult at the same time.  I have found it hard to put into words exactly how the hospital stay felt – maybe because it was constantly changing and bringing new emotions to the table.  I can say that I could FEEL people praying, and even at the most emotional times God’s peace prevailed.

Some of the unexpecteds:  I had no idea how much I would LOVE K.  Open adoption is powerful, but it’s not easy.   We want K and all of Mia’s birth family members to know that they matter SO much to us, and the hospital stay was our first opportunity to give Mia this gift of open hearted love.  I didn’t know how hard it would be to love a new baby and wait with uncertainty to see how God would use us in her life.   I didn’t know what it really meant to TRUST God with Mia’s life and our lives.  Between Wednesday and Saturday, we saw and felt God working.  Wednesday evening God revealed a beautiful connection between our daughter’s birth father’s family and our family – one none of us were expecting, but one that carries beautiful possibility for relationship building.  I didn’t know we would have fun: Thursday, we shared love for the Broncos with K and her family – Sam finding a link that would show us the game from the hospital room, Katy and James dropping off queso dip!  I didn’t know how much my heart would grow: Friday, K and I spent the majority of the day hanging out – a sister friendship developing.  A favorite moment was two moms bathing a sweet daughter – hand over hand – tiny body shivering, yet enveloped in mama love.  Saturday, we were rebels in the hallway – walking with Mia to heat up K’s heating pad – laughing about how “bad” we were.  And I didn’t know how joy and heart ache could coexist in the same moment so profoundly when we arrived at the really hard part.  We packed our bags and we all went home from the hospital.  After four days of together, our new lives were to begin.

Finally awake

As we prepared to take Mia to our car, K asked if she could carry her out.  I know we rocked some worlds with how we approached this journey – a team hanging out for four days, each person placing a tiny baby first, each person making selfless choices, each person living in a way that’s really hard for the world to understand.  People told us we were “amazing.”  To be really honest – we are not any more amazing than any other parent who chooses to do what is best for their children.

We are normal people who have chosen to listen to God’s call to “be open to being open!”  We most definitely had NO idea what that meant when we said yes to God’s call just a night before the “call.”  Thursday night, the second night in the hospital, I was spent – so ready to go home.  Friday morning I spent time with God.  He used Paul’s words in Ephesians to rejuvenate my spirit:  “God does immeasurably more than we can know or ask.”  And we are certain we saw just the tip of what was happening: From the nurse who had recently been exploring adoption asking tough questions but then taking the best care of us all, to the pastors who were so much more tied in than they could have imagined, to a God-only connection between us and a hurting birth family, to the author of The Open Hearted Way to Open Adoption having a nephew in my English class, to our final background check arriving at Hope’s Promise exactly 12 hours before Mia was born, to the financial responsibilities for adoption being covered so quickly, to the MANY relationship connections discovered in one month, to a pediatrician telling us that the hospital staff just couldn’t wrap their minds around how what was happening could look the way it did, and to the many people we know were watching God made His presence known.  We are not amazing, but GOD most definitely is.  We are just grateful that we get to be a part of this beautiful LOVE story.

Pictures: (We will wait to get permission from K and the other respective family members before we post pictures of them)

Going home outfit, a Christmas gift from K, only made it for a couple of hours in the hospital but at least we took pictures!

Getting ready to get in the car seat

snuggled in

walking down the hall way

Our greatest Christmas gift

meeting Great Grandmother MH and Aunt Mary A

Gentle “two fingers” – Nella is good at instructing us to touch Mia gently now!

Beauty

First bath at home… sister is getting things ready

Still not a fan of baths

1st outing: a date with K and making Christmas decorations

Merry Christmas

Mommy and her girls

Sisters in stripes

Getting out is twice the work, but a MUST. Nella helps do pretty much everything whether she is ready to or not… here is a dog walk! She (and the dogs) did great!

Our first Christmas as a family of 4

A Happy New Year hike! May 2014 be filled with blessings for all and the ability to find beauty in the unexpected.